I could not forsee these things happening to you.
All your success. All your wins and happy moments. And I won't always be there when things go bad. But your never alone. Know that so many have loved you. And more will. Like a new born baby, it happens every day.
Raising children is the most responsibility I have ever had. For a reason, the reward.
Be like the animals in the forest. Some days be a mountain lion, ready to pounce on prey. Sometimes be a deer, just bed down at night and be on the lookout, be alert, rest, eat and move your way to the safest area , always mobile. Be like a bear, and ready to attack, know when to bed down, and when to forage.
Don't get involved with illegal stuff. It's twice as hard to make an illegal dollar than it is a legal dollar. Most of the time it works for a bit, until it doesn't. Then there is no return to normal. And the risk reward trade off doesn't warrant the behavior.
Always have a crutch. Like term life insurance for your family. Savings bonds. 529 savings accounts, which convert to Roth IRAs, for your children. Which ideally funds not only their education but almost more importantly, and with heavy consideration of the investment gain due to length of time, the Roth conversion component may very well be the best component.
Other crutches used in life, take care of people who took care of you. And help younger people who in turn may help you.
Side note. When approached with violence, leave. If it follows, avoid, but then swiftly destroy.
Crutches. An extra tire on your transportation. Taking care of repairs before they become a material problem , liability, or happen at the worst time. Lifestraw, water, preserved food. Tools and weapons. Acquire them in times of good. Take care of shelter, constantly improving, have short term back ups.
When you have an idea, identity the risk, then remove the risk. Then execute.
You can walk around in the block on the sidewalk with your head down stairs at the concrete and you will have the same view. Or you can walk around and look at all the other house , learn from them , critic them, don't recreate the wheel, observe what works, and what doesn't, make improvements, implement, and enjoy. Or you could walk with your head high and enjoy nature and space. Don't trip. At least staring at the concert means you won't fall. But something could fall from the sky, or someone could run over you. Sometimes one is the best, sometimes a combo, focus is good, dreams are important, but reality will dictate. Plan accordingly and adapt to change while sticking with the plan.
FA lesson. Life lessons. Avoid flying to close to the sun, you could get burned. That means you could loose something as a result of testing the line or hanging around bad people or being in bad situations. Like a job, game the system, which they set in place, in an unfair environment, then this activity is justified, could get you fired. Or being around bad people who cause a bad situation at no fault of your own, that you get caught up in. It's not fair. Sometimes you are even tricked by a good person making a bad decision. Often times, not being in a bad situation was the answer in the first place, then not involving a person is then next question. Try and trust your gut , wear a seatbelt. Focus on what you can control. Fight if you need to. Often run. But a story semi related. Darryl. He was the HR guy, hired me to my first Seattle job at Verity. Was a cool guy, educated, musically talented, not my typical friend, but a hr guy I felt comfortable letting my guard down with. He drove me home after a house party on I90 freeway going 90 mph in his little hatchback after drinking all night. Luckily we made it the 28 miles. About a year later, he ends up knocking up some girl her met through a online dating service. Before delivery he quit his job, went into some traveling non guaranteed pay job, and cash out savings/retirement accounts and paid the girl a lump sum to cease and decis their relationship. She agreed and took the money. About 13 years later , cause I had happen to meet this girl through mutual Idaho connections right around the same time (small world sometimes) , Darryl drank himself to death. His boy never met him, seems like a nice kid, looks a lot like him. Another story, random, but a good lesson in unintended consequences. A suburban kid brought a hunting rifle, it was a good price. Then sold the hunting rifle to the dad of someone he knew. Then it went to another person. After being used in a crime, got traced back to the suburban kid. Turns out that hunting rifle was stoned, along with a dozen other FMs, from a collector who was killed in a horrible family act. And some of the other FMs were used in other horrible crimes. Across state lines and Federal mail and DC. No other person has been caught with these original FMa but you, and after a long time of no one to convict, a eager federal prosecutor goes after the suburban kid. Story ends with the suburban kid doing a lot of hard prison time.
Friends and Family:
Friends are people who would do whatever they could, within their means. Basically, when your friend is great, they would help you more, and when your friend is down, they will be less likely to help you. Means is anything that is unique to their situation, not yours. The friendship could not ultimately last a lifetime. Ultimately, most friendships are for a certain amount of time , and then become de-prioritized. If you called your best friend when you were in 3rd grade, would they help you right now? In 3rd grade you would have done anything for each other. Point is, at no point should you get caught up in friendship to the point of risking to damage other past present or future friendships you will have. Then there is family. With the family bond, you would always whenever do what you can for them. Just be fair, true, and honest, confident and able about your decisions, they may not like it, but if they meet that criteria they should respect your decision. And if not, they are neither friend or family, and get away from them.
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