lessons

Reputation is a dangerous word. Your perception is not the same as realiity. So trying to protect your reputation is dangerous, cause your desired outcome will not be the same as the outside perception. Your being causes for good reason , sometimes a gut feeling, but perceived as lazy. Be careful when trying to protect your reputation. Understand the reputation of others, it's often true, or there is some truth to it, beware. 

There are two ways to fill a hole. The right way, and every other way. The point is sometimes you just need to fill a hole. 

In Jr. High, I had a horrible experience. Probably the first tramadic event I had ever experienced. I was told a fellow wrestler who I was aware of, our rival, was going to fight me. He was coming to my school on Friday cause he heard I called him a racist name. He was tougher than me, and would beat me. My next step after I got done shaking, was to assemble as many of my friends as possible to back me up. Then every single person I asked for the next few days said I was on my own. I went through every able body student that could be an asset and only got 1 yes. I'll never forget that act o kindness, I'm forever grateful. Not the point, but I found a true friend and later fishing buddy who had my back. No need, it was all a story, some of my buddies came up with it, and it worked. Scared the shit out of me. The rival wrestler had no problem with me, frankly probably didn't even know who I was. My friends laughed for a year, they had talked to most of the school and had them in on it. Those couple days from when I was initially told to when I found out the truth, felt like an eternity, and a crippling anxiety. It was a fear of death. I had also never experienced relief like when I found the truth. Looking back now, it was actually a great gift my friends did for me. It probably kept me from getting beat up years later in a serious situation because of something dumb I said to be funny. I learned some great lesson about deceit, friendships, jokes, and myself. I was racking my brain and the amount of strategy I put into that event that never happened taught me a lot. Taught me how to get creative, when you run out of options, you think differently. You trust yourself more. You face fear with your eyes open. I was prepared, but I had a loser mindset, and I learned I can't walk into a fight thinking I'll loose. You have to know you will win, keep your eyes open, learn to not get hit, duck, dodge, and strike appropriately. Always be ready. In times of peace , prepare for war. The guys that played the joke turned out to be my best friends 30 years later , and we have been through a lot all these years. Know how to pick friends, while I didn't appreciate their joke at the time, they were intelligent thinkers, and guys you could count on. We had each other's back when it was us against another team,city, or whatever. Strength in numbers, a diverse group of people with similar but different backgrounds and upbringing, and social class, and financially. 

Be confident. Be loyal to those who matter, and don't worry much about those that aren't in that circle. But always show empathy and compassion. But bleed for those that matter. Protect your family and brothers. 

Be confident. Believe in whatnyou are doing. Do the right thing , and you have nothing to worry about. It will work out, eventually. Truth always prevails. It's human nature. The bad and stupid die off. Don't carry all the weight on your shoulders though, you can only only carry yourself, otherwise you are no good for all the many more that matter. Tell a story, empathy, understanding, compromise, can equal peace. But don't bow your head, hold it high , be confident. Showing up is half the battle. Must show up to win the war. Have pride. 

When dealing with the police, your only response to any acquisitions should be "can you prove that? " Don't tell them "prove it", don't encourage them to build a case against you. Ask what case they have now. If they have nothing, and hopefully they don't (cause you go caught, and what is the probability of that ?), they will typically leave you alone. Continue to repeat once if necessary. If it persist, or they provide evidence, then inform them any further conversations will be with your attorney, and don't say anything but those words, let's get the attorney here before we speak. The burden of proof lies upon the State. It's their job, and don't do their job for them. It's a classic risk reward tradeoff. Don't antagonize. 

I'm just going to have to live with what I consider dumb questions. The IAR story of Whole Foods after a online order. telling them where I am going , the who what where when and I why. Treat people like you are a movie star. Always cool and chill with people and do the after sports interview. Those often times appear fake. Simply nicely answers questions. Problems can arise with the answers. They always want to talk it out. Sometimes just let them get their two minutes like Ray Dalio suggest. Talk like a Billionaire. Dumb questions are ok from certain people. 

Only do things worth doing. Otherwise it isn't worth the risk and/or resources. Consider not just you, but the impact on your family. Don't wast your time doing nothing, you have to act, not just think. Thoughts with no action are just wasted dreams. Always love and trust yourself, only you know what is best for you.  Follow your gut for what is right, you are the one that lives with the outcome, so while others input can be helpful, if it's not in your bets interest, stay away. Cause they are not thinking for you. Be every causes around people you can't trust. They will turn on you given the opportunity. Stay away from places that give you a bad feeling, which is often isolated. 

Surround yourself around what you want to become, surround yourself with good people. Hang out with someone long enough, and you start to become like them. If you want to be successful, hang out with successful people.